It's hard to believe...

Yeah, really hard to believe. Completely uncommon, I say. How could I did that? In this week, actually in monday it happened. Everybody says that there is a first time to everything, now I do believe this statement.

This monday I met him. Actually I started to talk to him last weekend, but this monday I could see his face in front of me. I didn't have any intention, I am just a friendly person and as I said before, I'm closed for balance, and it includes everyone.

You may ask me: Naná, did you like this experience? Well, actually yes, but I still can't believe I did that. He was so cute to me, pretty, so thoughtful, I just... I'm confused, yes. My mind is too much confused, because one part of me tells me I did something I shouldn't but the other part really liked that experience and is excited with that. But how could I give something so special to a person I've just met on monday? Would he notice what I've done? I just don't feel and don't want to be like someone else in one more day...

I'm not in love, but how could I feel so much attraction? It has been always under control and suddenly my world is fallen again. Yesterday I talked to him and he told me he was thinking about me but... thinking what?

The worst of all: I just can't stop thinking of that and in my core I do wish to make it again... OMG, I must be crazy!!!!!! However the idea of being just another girl is so disturbing to me... I just wanted to stop thinking of him, it would be much better for me.. I don't want to suffer again, I know I deserve to be happy and being in love with a person which might not think of me the same way would be suicide. Please God, help me!!